Dove Cameron got real with her fans in a lengthy Instagram post that showed images of her real struggles and pain, while detailing just what it is she’s struggling with … and it goes right to her very core.
The Disney Channel star shared a slideshow of tearful selfies both raw and playful as it looked as if she was trying to add some levity to the heaviness of what she was grappling with internally.
The final two slides of the carousel were lengthy messages about her struggle, which appears to be deeply rooted in her senses of identity and self, which she described as having always been “diametrically opposed” within her.
“There has only ever been room for one at a time to occupy my life,” she wrote as part of the lengthy caption to her post. “i have never been able to make them hold hands, and i realize as i get older, its because i hold a deep seeded belief that who i am is wrong.”
She went on to muse, “i am not allowed to be just as i am, i am not meant to be here. i feel i must be something else if i am going to be allowed to be here. and i really do wanna be here with you.”
She explained that “more days than not” she feels a pull “towards no identity at all.” “I feel most natural. i feel most natural as something imperceivable to myself, an energy and a presence,” she wrote.
In the carousel of slides, Cameron wrote that she’d “been struggling lately with the concept of self, my inner relationship to who I know myself to be and my outer perceivable self who I feel I have never known but other people seem to.”
She said that she’d been covering mirrors and “feeling wrong in clothing that used to make me feel beautiful.” She noted she’d been crying, as well, “sometimes terrorized by my identity and image.”
Later in the message, she said she’s found herself struggling with “sexuality and performative gender norms,” echoing a common sentiment that social media and our tendency to constantly broadcast ourselves or try and establish a constantly visible brand “is not optimal for mental health.” She describes it as “a modern problem not designed with human health in mind.”
The bottom line is that she says while she is “struggling more than half of the time,” she is currently in a process and “investigating.” Elsewhere she talked about being on a journey of “unlearning-self abuse and self-hatred,” as well as trying to be “unburdened by the societally created identity.”
“I’m trying to maintain a quiet non-judgmental curiosity rather than punish myself for not knowing what I’m feeling or where I’m going,” she wrote. She wrote that she has no conclusions as of yet, but she wanted to share it because she believes she may not be alone where she’s at on her journey.
“I never want you to feel alone in a sea of what seems like humans who are comfortable in their identity, like they may not even have to think twice about it (which is wonderful and we are happy for them),” she wrote.
She concluded her messages with words of solidarity amid the hard conversations where maybe we don’t always know the words. “Emotion is COOL. Dysphoria is OK. Living as a human is INTENSE,” she wrote. “We are all holding hands, don’t forget.”
“Maybe the spaces that are the least human can become the most human, if we want that, and we can all let each other take up a little more space,” she concluded her caption message.
You can check out her full message in both the slides and caption below:
If you or someone you know needs help with mental health text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.
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